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Monday, April 23rd, 2007
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2:58 pm
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There's nothing more respectful during a service for the VA Tech victims then some ignorant black girl asking, "Whats dis bout?" It wasn't even just that, she proceeded to talk the whole time.
For some reason Pimp My Ride is on and everytime I watch this, I wonder what happens to the cars when there done being "pimped". You'd think after all the TVs, Lights, game systems they put in there, the cars would be stolen in seconds.
I'm thinking about seeing the new Adam Brody movie, "In The Land of Women" tonight. It might be bad, but I loved the OC so I'm willing to give it a try. I'm planning on seeing it alone, but my mom has this weird way of making me feel bad if I don't invite her, or she'll just invite herself.
Softballs finally over. It's a weird nostalgic/sad experience to quit something you've done the past seven years of your life.
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| Saturday, March 24th, 2007
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10:52 pm - Little Superstar
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Think I'm gonna ghost ride the Explorer. Might die, but that's the sacrifice I'm willing to take.
My spic captain from softball called me queen of cellulite the other day. I shook it off, until I told my mom and she freaked out saying it would stick with me for a while. She was right. I told my captain off a week later.
I'm finally genuinely happy. Justin and I have our definite rocky times, but overall he makes me so happy. Recently every movie or show I watch a couple breaks up from cheating. It makes me scared to think I'd probably be naive enough to not even notice.
I have about 5 essays due by next Wednesday as part of my Honors English midterm. I've started one of them. I've been wasting my time hanging with Justin, working out, or eating my life away. Occasionally playing the Sims and going on Whyville is up there too.
current music: VH1s 40 Greatest Internet Sensations
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| Sunday, December 10th, 2006
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11:33 pm
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I have issues with studying. I thought about giving my laptop to my parents, so they could hide it somewhere. There's no other way I'm gonna get anything done. That's pretty pathetic. It also took me about 20 minutes to figure out my LJ username because I havent been on in a while.
There's this girl I work with who I'm beginning to really dislike. I hate work in general though. Everything I do she does the opposite. Everything I say she has to say some smart ass remark back. I hate people who assume I'm the most ignorant person on Earth because I decided to not go away for college, and obviously that's supposed to mean I'm going nowhere in life.
Justin and I are good, Thanksgiving was a little weird. His second cousin or something was there that he went to prom with two years ago. They liked eachother but never went out. It was a little awkward, and she ignored me the whole time. Still getting used to Justin's family, after a whole year. I've accomplished getting everyone but his step mom sick recently.
I just can't wait for Christmas and a break from school. I need to pick my classes for next semester. I'm also scared of everyone being back. It's sad how people say they won't grow apart. Eventually it happens no matter what. My two best friends are halfway across the state, and I barely talk to them each month. It's hard for me to accept, but I guess I should just move on and be happy for them.
current mood:  okay
current music: Look After You, The Fray
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| Saturday, November 11th, 2006
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1:24 am
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I have a sick feeling in my stomach. Everythings making me mad. I had to close by myself. Why won't you answer your phone, I've called you once and texted you a thousand times. I'm being annoying and desperate but I dont really care. I'd rather wait all night to talk for a minute then go to bed with this feeling. I just have this strange feeling. Like I don't even know you anymore. I feel like an outsider, a bystander on your life. Not your girlfriend. Nights when your with your friends, and you dont answer for an hour. I'm trying to be very patient. Maybe I'll go for a drive, cause god forbid I stay in my room any longer. Theres too much doom and disapointment leering in here now.
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| Friday, October 6th, 2006
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1:27 pm - New hobby now that all my friends are gone
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So I was driving home from school around 1 today, and I see this cute little turtle in the middle of the road. I gasp, and turn around. As I'm running in the middle of the road someone almost hits this little dude. So I pick it up in front of this car full of black people who point and smile. I try to get the turtle back in the water but it climbs onto shore and towards the road. I call my brother, my moms not home. I call my mom and dad, there at work. So I put him/her in my car and drive to my old elementary school nature preserve. I find some guy to open the gate as the turtle poops/pees on my shoe. How ironic and ungrateful! But the turtle got into the canal and I saved a life, yay :)
current music: Superman
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| Friday, September 29th, 2006
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1:11 pm
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The weather has been so beautiful lately.. or to me. It's nice to have a break from swealtering heat. I tried to convince my English teacher to let us go outside and she just said something about not being able to control us all.
So what do you wear to a casual weddding? I have a white shirt picked out, but I don't feel like wearing a skirt. All my dress pants fit weird. That's not even very casual anyway.
I spent the past hour on youtube watching all these vidoes, it's intriguing in a way. I found Mac's and Matt's. I looked at the infamous Lonelygirl's.. I dont really get it. I watched a few but she's just too whiny and immature it seems.. but I haven't seen them all.
current music: Dance Floor, T-Pain
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| Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
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11:20 pm
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Why do I always torture myself at the worst times, when I'm at my lowest and feel the shittiest? Why does everyone do that? Why focus on the past when you say you won't but a part of you always does? Why does it matter so much to you? Why can't I just be away from it all and be a typical college student with no job? Why am I so sensitive? Why would I download songs that I know will bring up bad memories and hurt me? Why do I get jealous? Why don't I know anything about my best friend anymore? Why do things have to change? Why am I always nice to people who don't deserve it? Why do people take advantage of me? Why can't I see my boyfriend everyday? Why cant she just be normal? WHY!
current music: Konstantine.
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| Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
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3:02 pm
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Sometimes I see no point in having a livejournal. No matter what, I never feel like I can express what I want, in fear of what people will think or if they even care. So why not make entries private? That's a waste of time. But a part of me has givin up caring about what people have to say.
I hate how college is so independant sometimes. It's such a releif to see a friendly face in a sea of non-sociable strangers. I would talk to people but they just seem so uninviting. I made a friend in one of my classes or thought I did and she asked me what my name was because she forgot it already. I miss the familiarity of high school sometimes, and I miss my best friends. I have Justin but when he's working and I'm off it gets really boring.
The one thing that's been keeping me going is Justin and I's one year anniversary coming up October 18th and Susan's birthday party.. on both occasions we're getting smashed and being able to spend time together. I'm not sure where we can go because the keys and Disney both don't let you rent a room until your 21. Which brings me to another point. I hate the stereotypes cast in society today. When I went out to dinner last night with some other friends that were all teenage girls, I saw the servers face drop like she was disgusted or disapointed in having us. She assumed we didn't know how it is to work in a restaurant or we're shitty tippers. That just makes me mad and not want to tip her well. I don't know anymore.
Justin's ex put the song "Hate Me" on her myspace a few months ago. It still bugs me alot. The beginning of the song says Justin, and it talks about keeping her head up all those nights and how she didn't help him. I've seen her around school once and I really want to just know the truth if it's about him. I also probably shouldn't analyze things so much.
I hate how my mom talks to me sometimes. She always asks if I've eaten like I don't eat or I have some disorder which is far from the truth. I'm not the one who weighs myself when I first wake up everyday and at night and barely eats.
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| Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
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5:35 pm
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Well, this is the angry random stranger post of the week.
b33rdrinkingman (5:12:17 PM): so i moved to hobe sound
BlueprincessS115 (5:12:37 PM): who is this
b33rdrinkingman (5:12:40 PM): frank
b33rdrinkingman (5:12:49 PM): we talked awhile ago
b33rdrinkingman (5:12:56 PM): doubt youll remember me
BlueprincessS115 (5:13:00 PM): i dont remember sry
b33rdrinkingman (5:13:05 PM): i told you i was movin up here soon as my house was done
b33rdrinkingman (5:13:15 PM): and i saw your sn and remembered...
b33rdrinkingman (5:13:21 PM): well... its whatever then nvm
BlueprincessS115 (5:13:28 PM): im sorry
b33rdrinkingman (5:13:45 PM): its cool i dont wanna know you anymore anyways.
BlueprincessS115 (5:13:53 PM): haha um ok bye then
b33rdrinkingman signed off at 5:14:02 PM.
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| Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
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12:23 am
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Nobody should waste there time like I did seeing Miami Vice. It was about 3 hours of pointless horrible filming, random trashy sex, guns and shooting everything, and a completely random story line. If your into that go ahead, but I wanted to kill myself when it was over.
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| Thursday, June 1st, 2006
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10:23 am
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Since myspace isn't workin, I'm resorted to here.
Graduation was a few days ago. At the time it seemed like such a big deal, and I'd feel so different. I just feel alone. I never thought I'd actually not see people from high school again like they all talked about. That's scary. Of course I cried like a little bitch on stage in front of everyone when Pizzazz sang "For Good" but whatever I knew it was gonna happen. I'm not afraid to show my feelings.
My parents think now that I'm graduated and an "adult" I need to get a job. Im gonna try Teen Heaven where Ashley works because it seems like a nice enough job. I was gonna try hostessing at Yardhouse or Cheesecake but everyone said they have late hours n its stressful.. anybody know elsewhere?
I miss being a naive kid without a job responsability and be able to just see Justin everyday without him working and having to go to EMT school. But I guess it's time for the Real World..
current music: Further Seems Forever
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| Monday, April 17th, 2006
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7:10 pm
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The past two days have been kinda shitty. I did something I shouldn't unintentionally, and created unnecessary drauma. I just couldnt help but sit around and think about it which made me feel even worse. I've realized some issues I have. I have issues with getting close to my family but when it comes to friends theres no problem and im open. I fight with my mom at least once a day anymore. I have to get my dress altered for prom because its too small, I bought it from Ross so my mom wouldn't worry about money. It's frustrating when I know people who get 200 dollar prom dresses and if my mom even sees that she won't consider it. This all makes me look like a stuck up bitch, and maybe I am but I don't know.
I got in a fight with my mom and my familys out at my aunt's house now who I hate. I'm alone and I lost my keys so I can't go to the gym or anywhere. Its making me even more frustrated with everything. My cars rear window on the side is broken. Now I can't use my car until it's fixed just adding to everything else. I guess it could be alot worse though.
The bright side is tomorrow's 6 months. There's been ups and downs (more up then down), and Justins amazing. I couldn't ask for better.
current mood:  cranky
current music: I Want To Save You, Something Corporate
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| Monday, January 9th, 2006
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8:43 pm
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It's the most amazing feeling to wake up knowing your in love.
New Years sucked, but hopefully this new year will be better. Prom,Graduation,College.. here I come.
current mood:  loved
current music: "Your beautiful", James Blunt.
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| Friday, October 21st, 2005
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6:51 am
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I was considering not going to school today but I have math and that blows so I'm going. I'm just going to boycott doing anything in all classes possible.
Things have been looking up for me as of recently.. I made Varsity Soccer. But the coaches never said officially who's on what team, they just seperated the groups up and all the Seniors are on V which kinda sucks because you don't know who should be on there or whos just on there because of being a Senior. Regardless, I'm happy. Finally making a Varsity sport is pretty awesome.
Justin came down this weekend, and we went to dinner last night. He's really good to me and I'm happy with that. Tomorrow I'm goin out to dinner with him and his parents, which is pretty scary but I'll live. It's weird how I finally met him when he graduated through Myspace over the summer.. I love how I have an internet boyfriend, haha. It's different to actually have a guy who cares and does all the sweet things he should.
P.S Wilma better not screw everybody over, because if I don't have electricity or school I still have practice and thats just gross with no air or shower.
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| Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
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6:30 pm - Justin is my tiger.
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Juniors can blow me, thats all I have to say about homecoming.
Besides that, cross country's over. The season went by fairly fast, and I'm glad I did it because I met alot of new people and am in good conidition for soccer now. Really excited for soccer.. I did well at tryouts today, so hopefully Coach Carson sees that. It's gonna be fun managing a varsity sport during pizzazz and variety show though.. but if Whitney can do it so can I.
There's all these random ants in my house and it drives me insane. My room is really messy but I'm tired of people bitching about it.. Im sorry I have a life.
I'm really freakin jealous of fefe and Kate who are goin up to FSU this weekend.. not necessarily to go up to FSU because some fag redneck goes there who I pretty much hate now-but I'd really like to see the campus. I've heard its similar to UF as in being older looking with a lot of trees. I visited UCF last weekend and it was a nice campus. I'm considering going there which will be nice, and taking summer session classes as well.
Oh and by the way, yelling at people for shit you used to do yourself is pretty hypocritical, so just don't.
current mood:  anxious
current music: Stay with me.
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| Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
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10:22 pm
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It's funny how alone you can feel sometimes. I also feel tired and stressed.
I'm quitting my job at Abercrombie because I just don't have time for it anymore. Between cross country meets n practices, chorus activities,soccer starting, theres gonna be no time leftover to work. So I basically shot all that training time down the drain. I usually love staying busy, but not right now.
I dont understand a certain situation right now at all and it's seriously unhealthy. I think about it all day, and am still lost with no answers. Hooking up with guys in college is a bad idea. Especially guys that you've liked for over a year now. I don't know how anybody else would handle it, but my way is waiting for his calls and IMS that im not receiving and getting even more worked up at myself.
I can't even talk to my mom anymore because she feels like she has to control my every move, and how I handled my job, and always needs to know whats going on. I can't talk to her about Tyler because she couldn't even begin to understand.. and I can't really talk to anyone. Everybodys tried to help me but I'm still sad and confused. I should just talk to him. But I'm invisioning all these people telling him how obsessed I am with him and him completely avoiding me.
I just wish I could take a long vacation.
I have no idea where I'm going to school.
current music: Rascal Flatts
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| Sunday, September 11th, 2005
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11:54 pm
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I don't really use this anymore.. I just myspace. I never liked this because I dont ever truely write about what I feel because I feel like I'm being judged. I dont know.
Saturday was my first hardcore cross country meet. Can I just say nervous? I felt like my insides were gonna come out of my throat. The worst part of running is the before and after. Before your questioning your every meaning, and after your questioning if your even alive. I finished with 36:06 or something for 3 miles. This week's gonna be insane with float building,powderpuff,xc practice,gator growl and everything. I cant wait though.
I was dissapointed with team tonight. We didn't pray at all or talk about how it was 9/11. I enjoyed the worship songs but it just should of been more personal. I get that their trying to get more people to go but I dont want it to be different.
I don't get guys. They really need to figure out what they want and go out and get it. I need to stop letting guys control my life and worry about them so much. It really doesn't matter and if something happens, then it happens.
current music: Silent Night, 9/11 Tribute- God
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| Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
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10:53 pm
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I ran 2.5 miles today.. be proud. I was supposed to run 3 but I couldn't do it seeing as I hadn't ran in about 6 days and just suck at running altogether. This hurricane is out of control and I really hope everybody's relatively safe right now. I need to sign up for the next SAT but everytime I go to sign up the site screws up. It's a sign I'm not supposed to go to college. PBCC doesn't even need SAT scores to get in so it really doesnt make a difference. I guess I just feel left out of the whole SAT taking experience. I've become overly sensitive lately. It's pretty sucky and I end up yelling at people who don't deserve it.. Everybody has been so suprised when they found out that I'm running cross country. When I went to get my physical the big black man even said I don't look like a xc runner..great! So I guess I'm proving them all wrong. Guys are so weird. DRAUMA. All I have to say is that Allen Krammer was driving behind me in the parking lot today and it made my day. The end. Plus the cutest girl ever Whitney Borge said I have such pretty hair.
current music: "Shake", Pitbull.
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| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
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1:16 pm
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Basically I already have senioritis. I set my phone alarm to go off at like 5:55. It went off and I went back to sleep. My dad came in my room like 7:10, soo yeah not going to school. I really dont feel like getting a detention. Plus I dont have to go through hell aka Cross Country so thats always amazing.
I think Abercrombies slowly trying to fire me. I've had two calls in the past few days and both of them they either said, no we're not gonna use you or your not even on the schedule. I haven't even gotten a paycheck yet because I'm too much a pussy to be like HELLO I havent been paid. But I'll ask for it Friday when I'm definately working.
It's ironic how I just met a bunch of Seniors from last year better and now their gone.. how much does that blow? I could of met Tyler n Justin earlier if I wasn't so freakin shy. The ways of myspace..
I'm probably going to the beach now because theres nothing to do. Sucks for you people in school!!
current mood:  mellow
current music: Jeff Bates
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| Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
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1:18 pm
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Summers almost over and thats depressing. Nothings been going on but team which is amazing because I've met alot of great new christians, goin to the gym, and I just got a job at Abercrombie Kids. I have to deal with all those ankle bitters and their rich parents. But it is pretty chill compared to Publix. Alot of other new people are there too so I'm not the only one who doesnt know how to use a mini board to fold shirts perfectly. Their so anal about how things are presented. Collared shirts have to be buttoned only the bottom two on display, if you come in early like I did you have to dust outside and inside the store, spray the guys cologne around. The plus is I smell like little boys cologne though - like Alyssa said. Sharptop was amazing and theres too much to say.. just that it was great. I miss my friends. I got laughing gas the other day at the dentist and just let me tell you that stuff rocks. I guess its like being half high. I have to get my wisdom teeth out and that'll suck but whatever. Well I just felt like updating. None of this was important but too bad. My cat has a lump and she had to have surgery this morning, thats important. Laguna Beach is on again, another important. OK Im out Drew is goin shirt shopping for school (and I have such nice fashion sense) at the Palm Beach Mall, hope I dont get shot. Jk!
current mood:  chipper
current music: A lawnmower outside. Ohh summer!
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